Paul Bieniek
pbb001@marietta.edu
Ah Spring, a time of love, rebirth, and allergies. It is truly a thorny rose of a season, caught between the dark hollow of winter and the scorching inferno of summer. This weekend, The Marcolian asked Marietta College students to share their thoughts and memories of spring, both good and bad.
“The thing I love most about spring is bee stings,” said Wes Anderson, a theatre major. “Those dogwood trees that smell like dead fish get me pretty perky too. But I can’t stand all the bright colors on the trees, all those freaking white and pink flowers and crap… that’s about as ugly as it gets.”
Junior Natalie Jimenez expressed dismay at the return of spring-like temperatures.
“Who the heck wants warmth after all that cold? I’m pretty sure everyone was happy walking to class in the morning when the wind chill was -20!” she said. “I do like the endless rain and flooding though. I mean who doesn’t want to see their car swept away in vicious torrent of muddy sewage-filled water!? I hope for it every year!”
She additionally noted that daffodils are “blood-sucking heathen plants” that should be exterminated by the minions and followers of Shepesh, the Ugaritic Sun God.
“It kills me, just freakin’ kills me, that we’re about to go on summer break!” said Ethan McClure, a history major. “There’s nothing I love more than having four presentations and five papers due in the same week. All while studying for finals!? That’s as good as it gets, bro!”
“Summer break is the worst though,” he continued. “Having time to myself? My little mind conditioned to be subservient and dull by the capitalist superstructure will have no idea what to do with that! So yeah, spring is the second worst season cause it comes before the worst one (summer),” he concluded.
Dr. Amanda Windsor, director of the meteorology department at MC, said that she always can’t wait for the first morning she wakes up with run-off snot burning the back of her throat. However she is dismayed that this wondrous sensation is without fail accompanied by the soft sounds of song birds in the apricot tree outside her bedroom, who she wishes would “shut the hell up and fly back to Jamaica.”
As you can see, when it comes to spring there’s the good and the bad. But the season is already half over, so saddle up your groundhog and hold onto the railing because it’s gonna be one bumpy stroll of a summer!
